Pine Plains

An underpopulated town in upstate New York containing not pines, but deciduous trees and tractor dealerships. The town is also famous for its large number of bovine creatures, including those that inhabit the quaint barns on the high school campus. If you live here and you're older than 19 you're never leaving. Actually, if you graduated from Pine Plains High School (aka Stissing Mountain), there's a pretty good chance (88.735%) that you will attend Dutchess Community College and never get your sorry bum out of the town. Traffic usually traveling well over the speed limit may be either disrupted by a tractor transporting a combine or a town cop that didn't get laid last night. You should also always be careful of the crazy old biker men who like to stop by at Stewarts. They can be worse than the cops when provoked. If you're grimey, you can apply for a job at Stewarts. So basicaly, if you're in need of a ticket, a grimey job, a cow, or just a big-ass hill that we like to call Stissing "Mountain"... Visit Pine Plains today! (Or tomorrow.. If you come, you can't get out. There's no rush, really).