poo goblins

Magical creatures that come in the night to remove poo from your girlfriend, because obviously girls don't poo. That would be gross.

The Poo Goblin is a fabled character from as early as roman times, sometimes referred to as Pootus Bootus in the annals of history. He is the nightmarish guardian of the fountain of pooth. He can be spotted using public restrooms for am inordinate amount of time, carefully sifting through all the poos of the children, virtue true. So he can perform a poo transplant in order to restore youth (pooth) to his inner mechanism and live for 1000 more years.