Beater's Bluff
The affliction, common in frequent masturbaters in which one's jizz is stuck in his urethra to where it's glued shut and his piss can't break through it, resulting in two streams of urine coming out of his dick when it finally decides to punch through.
John: Guys, you'll never believe this, I went to go pee, and two streams of pee came out of my penis!
Joe: Looks like you've got a severe case of Beater's Bluff.
John: OH GOD NO AERFGATDFSEVFW
Joe: Looks like you've got a severe case of Beater's Bluff.
John: OH GOD NO AERFGATDFSEVFW