Shamzy
Man or woman exceptionally bad at getting action. Usually dwells in the basements of his or hers parents' house. Can be seen masturbating 3 times a day, once after every meal. A Shamzy is known to often acquire dead animals and use them towards his own *benefit*. Usually cleans up semen with his mother's panties he has just masturbated to.
There was a Shamzy at the party, but I kicked his ass once he came on the cake.