better off bacon
Used to imply that someone's life is so inconsequential, that they would be worth more to the world if their flesh was cured and smoked into delicious people-bacon.
Man 1: While you were gone, that hot girl from the bar called to see if you wanted to go out on friday. I told her you'd have to check with your parole officer.
Man 2: Dude, you'd be better off bacon.
Man 2: Dude, you'd be better off bacon.