Thanksgiving
A holiday in November that takes place in the United States where everything is closed for people to sit down and watch football and eat turkey, followed by Black Friday, a holiday to physically fight people over discounts and max out their credit cards to buy gifts for Christmas.
I am going to stay home and celebrate Thanksgiving this year.
Thanksgiving
National Obesity Awareness Day
Golly! This thanksgiving, Uncle Frank ate 8 pieces of turkey, 4 stuffing balls, 2 helpings of mashed potatoes, half the dish of corn and green beans, AND went back for seconds on his pumpkin pie! No wonder he broke grandma's new dining room chair...
Thanksgiving
That day where your relatives come over. The relatives are usually split into 2 groups. The adults usually sit in the living room and get into fights about politics and get mad is you interrupt their “really important” conversation.
The kids go upstairs and either whine because they think they have the right to all your things just because they’re guests, or the teenagers stick their butts in your house and think they’re the boss because they’re “ThE OlDeSt”.
when it is time for food, your adult relatives are all up in your business, or forgot you were born. When it is time to leave, your parents expect you to go and clean up everybody’s freaking mess. then they go and start hounding you on if that cousin you saw once is now your new best friend.
The kids go upstairs and either whine because they think they have the right to all your things just because they’re guests, or the teenagers stick their butts in your house and think they’re the boss because they’re “ThE OlDeSt”.
when it is time for food, your adult relatives are all up in your business, or forgot you were born. When it is time to leave, your parents expect you to go and clean up everybody’s freaking mess. then they go and start hounding you on if that cousin you saw once is now your new best friend.
“Dude, are you excited for thanksgiving?”
No, my teenage cousins are coming to our house.”
No, my teenage cousins are coming to our house.”
Thanksgivous
The American god of gluttony. We celebrate his feast day on the fourth Thursday in November. His greatest accomplishment was consuming a large bird whole. American's honor him by attempting to repeat this feat.
Thanksgivous set a great example for us when he consumed that bird whole. All should honor him.
Thanksgiving
Another excuse for Americans to spend an entire day eating
"Damn, it's not a weekend, and i want to eat all day"
"Why Don't we invent a holiday and give it a stupid name?"
"Fo Shizzle, My Pilgrizzle!"
"Why Don't we invent a holiday and give it a stupid name?"
"Fo Shizzle, My Pilgrizzle!"
Thanksgiving
To use your cum, shit, piss, and vomit to stuff a turducken and shove a teen girl's head up said turducken. You must then use scissors to cut her shirt up. Then, you take her pants off, remove her bra and panties, and ready a bottle of Diet Coke and Mentos to shove up her vagina and anus. When you pour Diet Coke and Mentos down her vagina and anus, you must suck her boobs slowly and softly while pissing in her vagina. You're then gonna need to grab a whip (if you haven't already) and command the girl to kneel and dig in while you ride on her back as if she were a horse. When she finishes, pour the leftovers in a blender, pour the mixture in the girl's mouth, and make out with her, in that order. Swallow afterwards.
Don't question the cum, shit, and vomit on the floor and dinner table. I just wished her "a happy Thanksgiving."
Thanksgiving
To commemorate a past event, you kill and eat an animal. It's a ritual sacrifice. With pie.
Thanksgiving isn't about blending of two cultures. It's about one culture wiping out another. And then they make animated specials about the part with the maize and the big belt buckles. They don't show you the next scene, where all the bison die and Squanto takes a musket ball in the stomach.