Uber-death-muffin

The Uber-death-muffin is the only known cure for Caids (a rare hybrid of cancer and aids). There is only one Uber-death-muffin known in existence, yet no one afflicted with Caids has been brave enough to try it, due to its warning label. It is said that anyone who eat it will have their Caids cured, but is destined to die in a way Over 9000 times more painful than they were originally destined!