Viscariously
when you are hanging out with people that are doing questionable things and you have to be a part of it but don't want to get in trouble so you stand on the sidelines and watch with caution cause you just can't tear yourself away from the situation cause it looks like so much fun.
I wanted to join in the fun with my friends but I didnt want my girlfriend to get mad at me so I sat in the car and watched viscariously as several of them ended up getting hurt.