wanking ears

'Wanking ears' is the expression for the vastly increased sensitivity of one's hearing while they are masturbating. This is a protection system so that no-one will walk in on you while masturbating, which could be an extremely embarrassing experience. Even the slightest footsteps out in the hallway will be picked up by your "wanking ears", and by the time this person comes into the room, should they decide to, you will have had time to close down the pornographic website/video you were watching, and zip up your jeans.

Similar to beer goggles, which is the effect of alcohol on sight, this is the effect of masturbation on auditory awareness.

The heightened sense of hearing a young man develops when he masturbate in a house with other people. Despite masturbating he intensely listens for anybody approaching his location so he has ample time to hide his penis, clean up his immediate environment, and maybe hide any pornography he might be using.

To Ear Wank (verb) is the act of firmly inserting a finger into one's own ear and then fairly vigorously jerking the hand up and down.

The person who is "ear wanking themselves off" experiences an intense satisfaction; not dissimilar to, yet still distinct from, the same satisfaction experienced when scratching an unpleasant itch.

An Ear Wank (noun) comes from the verb, and describes the act of undergoing an ear wank.


Note that it is possible in theory to ear wank other people off, but due to the risks involved (eg. ear wax) it is rarely practiced and not widely accepted in Western Society.

Using an implement (e.g. cotton bud) to penetrate the ear canal repeatedly.