Westminster College

A liberal arts school located in the Amish country of Western Pennslyvania full of the most well-educated and well-rounded individuals that exist on this planet. Those who attend Westminster typically follow the phrase "Work hard, party harder." The education is rigorous, and the parties are delightful. The campus itself is filled with squirrels and people who make it is as adorable and friendly as a summer camp.

Westminster College is a small school in Western PA that is known for its ugly, trampy female students and its stupid, cocky male students. The typical Westminster student is often drunk, throwing themselves at members of the opposite sex, and sleeping in puddles of their own urine. The school and its affiliates should be avoided at all costs.

Westminster Choir College (WCC) is one of the greatest choir schools in the world, mainly because it is the only choir school in the world. Located in Princeton, NJ, WCC is the satellite music school of Rider University, although none of Westminster's students will admit that openly because of a lack of funding and appreciation shown from their university.

Westminster's gay men to straight men ratio is approximately 4:1, which causes their women to experiment with their asexuality. Students at Westminster can often be seen pulling out large chunks of their hair and weeping in practice rooms during late hours of the evenings while they try to prepare solfege singing exercises and keyboard harmony assignments for their theory classes unsuccessfully. Another cause of tension amongst students revolves around the exorbitant cost of tuition; from the cost of attendance, sheet music, formalwear, and private lessons, many students are forced to transfer to state schools before they can complete their programs of study. The most common degree program, Music Education, is host to some of the most stressed and sexually frustrated students in the modern post-secondary world. Because of this, Westminster is also referred to as "Stressminster Queer College".

In spite of all the academic pressure and frequent feelings of impending doom, most students who attend Westminster are bound together by both their commiseration and their love of music, creating an unbreakable sense of family.