Bong enema
Using a bong that would typically be used to smoke cannabis to perform an enema by removing the bowl, running water through the mouthpiece by holding it up against a faucet and pressing the joint up against the anus causing the intestines to rapidly fill with water.
After my husband told me he wants to do anal with me instead of the dog this time, I had to resort to a bong enema because I have no douche but everyone and yes I mean everyone has a bong.