Alan the Karate Kid

An untamed beast of 1998 that killed the doctor by choking him with his vagina during birth. He now roams the streets of New York. Beware of him, if you see him, he will be swinging himself back and forth on two rails and saying that the best weapons on Earth are bare hands. Sometimes he likes to finger his pets and slurp the slime off his finger. Beware, Alan might be in your room at night, under your bed and with your cat.