alley-man
An 'Alley-Man' is someone who possesses 'neanderthal' like features. The 'Alley-Man' will spend most of his day farting, masturbating and communicating through inaudible grunts.
e.g. 'Mate have you seen Chris this morning?'
'Nah mate, he's being an Alley-Man today'
'Nah mate, he's being an Alley-Man today'