alternative mounds of joy
Refers to any of a girl's "sumptuous 'n' squeezable" bulges of pliable muscle-tissue other than her boobs or butt --- specifically, her shoulders, bicepses, and calves. The theory is that even if a soft-flesh-craving dude cannot acceptably access any "T&A" on his present female companion --- either because she prefers a more platonic relationship or they're presently in too public a setting for him to be able to touch her intimately --- he can still at least partially alleviate his raging "kneadable protoplasm" desires by filling his thirsting hands with these other "delicacies" instead.
Horny stud: Tiffany and I haven't talked about "taking it to the next level" yet, but I get the feeling that she would prefer to remain just at "second base" for the time being, so I think I'll just stick to massaging and caressing her alternative mounds of joy for now... hey, she's totally got delightfully warm and doeskin-soft flesh all over, so I feel satisfied and honored just being allowed access to even that much.