fantasy football

Dungeons and Dragons for meatheads.

A game for grown men that makes them regress back to childhood wherein they will turn on their best friends, argue to the death about anything, and become lifeless shells of their former selves.

The only sports whites can play better than blacks.

Three hilarious friends named Andy, Mike, and Jason who host the largest fantasy football podcast. They often have terribly bad fantasy football takes, but they make up for it with Andy's corny jokes, Mike's hyena laugh, and Jason's dry sarcasm. If you ever get to visit their studio in person you might see Brooks' $100,000 Rolex or Jason's 100 signed Kerryon Johnson jerseys. Legend has it that their producer Brooks bought the Footballers first 5,000 podcast subscribers for $10 each, but had to get a refund when the fake followers company accidentally charged Brook's card $10 million, which did not affect his net worth in the slightest, although he still wanted it back to buy his new state of the art ballet studio.

Fans of the Fantasy Footballers are known as the Footclan. Footclan members generally overhype every player the Footballers even mention, such as pushing Clyde Edwards-Helaire into the top 5 ADP in his rookie season or refusing to trade Kerryon Johnson for Patrick Mahomes in dynasty. The average Footclan member is bald, overweight, has a beard, and likes country music - in other words, Jason.

Football is where two groups of men fight each other to force an 11" leather object into each other's end zone; fantasy football is for people who like to fantasize about it.

A game that will drive you completely insane.
Turned me into a Cleveland Brown's fan.
Made me cheer for kickers.
Makes me spend 9 hours on NFL.com's Gamecast every Sunday
The reason the NFL is the number one sport in this country.

Football for people who are too old to play.