FBCI
The Federal Bureau of Cock Inspections is a section of the United Stated Federal Government dedicated to making sure every citizen’s cock is of desirable size, tidiness, and any other possibly desired conditions. In some cases, they may work together with the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) in order to solve federal crime cases involving penises. They are said to be more professional on average than the FBI, and can sometimes prove to be more useful. Likewise, the FBCI can provide free inspections for work or for your employees as an enterprise service. Despite the name, there are apparently other services this branch dedicated itself to, including sperm assays.
I should probably get the FBCI to come by so I don’t get fired for having an unsatisfactory ding dong!