Author

A person who writes books, articles, documents etc.

Someone who is all powerful and totally awesome in every way. They possess the power to kill people without being arrested and can create life against all the rules of science. Though some side effects may include antisocialism and insomnia, they are experts at making people confused with big words and are the only people who can sit in their pajamas all day talking to their imaginary friends and get paid for it. Yeah, be jealous.

The. Best. Job. Ever.
-One has no boss.
-One has no specific time to wake up.
-One can make up stories without being questioned.
-One can make millions.
-One can go on holidays as much as they please.
-One can work when they feel like it.
-One is not rushed.
-One can work at home.

An author isn't just a person who writes books, poems, stories, etc. An author is a god, a creator, someone who is not to be tampered with because they need to exercise their minds at all times. They are regular people who struggle through life every day and delve deep into their creations to escape from life. Knowing they can create an entirely different world, or control these people who do not exist make them feel stronger, better about themselves.

A person who will go crazy if they can't figure out what to write next. Writer's block is like a hundred-foot tall wall that extends forever on either side that no one can scale; it won't go down until the writer is in the right mindset, or has some type of inspiration.
And author is strong because they have no choice but to be - for the publicity, the criticism likely to come, the obstacles they have to face along the writing process, etc.
They are, most likely, the heroes that have kept us all happy because they write books to keep us entertained.

1) A person who writes books. Who wouldn't know that?

2) Someone on Urban Dictionary.

You better watch it. Authors have The Ultimate Power. They can kill people without getting arrested. They can sink your ships. They can do all sorts of awful things. So by all means, join us!

A position of power over people. Most people critize authority until they eventially come into power. Then they complain when they are critized. Hypocrites.